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Sunday, April 16th, 2006
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12:05 am
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Friends and money do mix. If they don't, they're not your friends.
Put this in your profile if one of your friends owes you money, but hasn't paid you and has avoided talking to you all together when you bring the concept of money up.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
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11:11 am
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i doubt no one reads this often.. i rarely post anymore..
i'm seeing ANOTHER doctor.. this time
i might have tumors in my sinus', neck, along my spinal chord and possible, in the brain already ;)
that would explain a few things.lol
the dr. is going to do a biopsy on my nose i think... i hate waiting around a month or two for apts.. if i'm dying, shouldn't i get in quicker? i mean, i'm just full of business here!
anyways...
i've been on a low for a while.. in my new apt. ALL alone.. i wish i could go and visit someone, or have someone come visit me.. as it is. i'm up to almost 50 hrs. a week.. ranging from 7am to 7pm.. at least i get nights off this year.. when school starts i'll go back up to 10pm or later :( maybe the 2am shift.. i need the money
gr!
no one's around and i find myself staring at the Caugh Syrup bottles in the stores... Knowing that one day too soon, i'll buy one, and drink it and Trip for six hours.. all out of boredom.. or, i'll just find the pure powder of DXM HBR and take some of that... it tates a lot better...
i live in potsdam, and potsdam DRY around here.. :(
boredom, the fact that i'm a walking cancerbreeder, and depression is definetly the key reasons why me and a little pill or joint is havin some alone time soon.
sometimes i wish i could just take a little pill and have it work for once.. i HATE those damn meds.,... prozac..etc and such.. panic attacks, heart attacks, migraines, depression, nightmares, weight gain... a little pill should sovle everything by the time i'm 50.
drugs are bad to do out of boredom. at least i'm not at a point yet that i HAVE to do them to get out of bed, but perhaps that's where i'm going a little more faster than i thought :( AH!
Again with these rants! ah!...
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 1st, 2004
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5:02 pm
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it's nice out
no wind
humidity 100%
i think i'll smoke some more
cigaretts
to get rid of the
liquid in my lungs.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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1:21 pm
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My whole entire life is just one long binge.
I have been sick
but today and every day before this has led
to this moment, this feeling of being fat.
I went to walk up three flights of stairs
to go to work today, walked really slowly-they
are quite intimidating. And i could barely move
half way up the first flight. When i left my dorm
this morning, to go to class, i could feel my fat.
I've never been able to do that. I could feel how
it rubbed against itself in blub motion. i could feel
the way it sits over my pants, and even making my under
wear so grossed out, that curls away from my body. Elastic
and all. Another person asked me if i was pregnant. Another
asked me if i heard of not eating. Those assholes, i hate them
so much! I wish that there was one god damned person up here that
has any idea what this is really like. I just want someone around to
not eat with. Someone to watch triggering movies with, Someone to walk
with. And someone to talk to-in person. I'm so sick of giving people advice
only for them never to talk to me again! it's rediculous. it's like they're doing
a random survey.. and just disappear. i can't take this anymore! my bf is going to
have to live with me not eating, or eating little.. i just can't be 200 anymore.
current mood:  sad
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, April 12th, 2004
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2:38 am
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jake's coming to get his stuff
monday
at 12:30
THIS should be interesting
i hope to GOD he brings all of my stuff.
i dont ever want to see him again
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, April 5th, 2004
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8:20 pm
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hello everyone. this is a real entry
And it will be deleted, like all the rest and replaced
with a small, or large poem.
Life is okay
I am fat
I am dating a GREAT Man
Big dick, girls ;)
lol
anywho.
i'm posing Naked for art tomorrow-NO CLOTHES!!
but hell it's $10 a FREAKING hours and 10 hours so, HELLS FUCK YEAH, NON TAXABLE !woot
it shoudl be interesting.
hope all ya'll talk to me soon.
Starlynn Myths
AIM
Haruka_ana_tomoe
Yahoo ID
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
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8:50 pm
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less than 10 years... hopefully, give or take 3 years either way
until it becomes removeable cancer tissue.. and that's IF it
doesn't spread..
:( i knew this was going to happen
I have known for almost 2 weeks now
But, now i'm all alone
and it's hitting me worse
than i had anticipated.
Sometimes, i just need
a BIG HUG
and no more needles
I HATE needles
i hope to post some of my pictures up. i've been experimenting with the camera...
Damn it's hard.. only 2Great pictures out of a aroll of 24... four useful pictures.. but i'm not completely satisfied with the results..
oh well.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, April 2nd, 2004
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11:52 pm
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The river is flowing
So slowly
And yet
It's speed has never
reached such velocity
The tiny dots
form the letter
that form the words
that form the sentences
and paragraphs
and pages
and books
that ruin my life
One dot at a time
It's really painful
to be happy
and know it is going to go
in just few short years
i would hope i would know
that i was happy
on my death bed
with friends at my side and me saying:
It will all be okay
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
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3:38 pm
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sex :)
went down to poughkeepsie...intereseting
Krissy was kewl
and so were j's grandparents, and parents'
i'l update later
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 25th, 2004
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1:04 am
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in ten years, i will be 30.
I hope not to be
Single
And all alone.
I hope i'm with love
I hope i'm with friends
I hope i'm with myself
Like now
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 20th, 2004
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12:34 am
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| Thursday, March 18th, 2004
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1:01 am
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good quotes:
Erin Pratt inspired: "I'll chew through your snot, because I love you."
ME: well. i tried to be nice and not biased... and i'm not the person to go and say "i hate you. FREAK! fuckoff" ...That's not even how I fell. i mean, that's NOT me...come on!-I hope.
StraightTilApril: no that's not you at all. you Embrace the freaks with arms wide. That's how you got me (toungy smilie face)
Maybe if I can not
love myself
the way i am
You can not
love me
here
either.
Maybe
i will love myself
The way i am.
And love myself more
For staying
here
longer.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, March 15th, 2004
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12:35 am
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Sometimes I wish
I really did not belong
To me
And that you
Did all the bidding
From now on.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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9:33 pm
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There is no hope
for the sweet myths of
rememberance
The nice memories,
come back to haunt me.
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(comment on this)
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